Next To Godliness...Or Something Like That

My wife says I'm messy. Or at least I think she does. I'm never 100% sure about anything she says anymore. She's always saying stuff like, "You could at least pick up her toys instead of just stepping over them?", or "How may times do I have to ask you to put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher? And to rinse them off before you put them in there?" Then there's my all-time favorite: "Why can't you wipe down the toilet when you're done using it? It doesn't clean itself, you know." I know, right? Nag, nag, nag...It's kinda like white noise.

Anyway, the problem is that she's turning my daughter into a Neat Nazi too. It's not like Em isn't totally OCD already or anything, having to wash her hands every five minutes, like after going to the bathroom (what's up with that anyway?). But now she bosses me around like her mom, telling me to change her diapers, or to put my book away, or to wash my hands after I use the bathroom. Today it was dirty socks. We have a pile of shoes next to the boxes in my livingroom. It seemed like a logical place to leave dirty socks. Am I right or am I right? Apparently not. Apparently that is what the dirty clothes basket in the closet is for. Isn't that just a little inconvenient? It started with the wife asking, "Why do you always have to leave your dirty socks lying around everywhere?" (I didn't know the shoe-pile had a name, but it does. That name is Everywhere.) Then from the next room, as if she were being beseiged by an army of stinky crew-length Hanes, comes the exasperated voice of Emma: "DIRTY SOCKS! EVERYWHERE!", followed shortly by a maniacal laugh.

It's not like I am purposely being messy or anything. I am just a little forgetful. Ok, maybe a lot forgetful. But that doesn't change the fact that I do try to help out a little bit. I'll change a diaper every once in a while or empty the dishwasher. I also take out the trash if it's blocking the door when leave for work. Is nothing good enough to please her? Ok, so I do leave my socks Everywhere and I don't pick up Em's toys all the time. She's just going to throw them all over again anyway. And, FYI, the toilet does clean itself. It's always clean when I get home from work.

What do you want from me woman? Tell me. TELL ME!

Thoughts of the day:

"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things." - Jilly Cooper

"Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there." - Scott Adams