Death To Ty Pennington!

I have found new victims on which to focus my inner rage and worldly hate - Ty Pennington and the rest of the "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" crew. (Yes, Oprah, you can finally take a breath of sweet relief and come out of hiding. For now.) How dare they rape my tear ducts and pilfer my precious optical lubrication? I am a man damnit! It is unfair for you, Ty, to show me a crying mother and a joyous mentally handicapped child and make my eyes water. And that choked up feeling? It just plain sucks. How am I supposed to maintain my manhood when you keep showing communities of hundreds of people pulling together to help underpriveleged families? I mean, when does that ever really happen? Seriously now. And pulling the bus away to reveal the house to an ecstatic family - that's just a low blow.

Let it be known - and this is the only warning that I am going to give - that I am on to you Ty Pennington. I will hunt you down and I will reveal you for what you really are. I will show the world that you are Lucifer incarnate here to strip men of their virility. I will show men everywhere that they will no longer have to worry for their reputation or the risk of dehydration. I'm coming for you, Ty. Your army of do-gooders with their hammers and saws will not be able to stop me. I will find you. You will rue the day you made me cry...I mean...made my eyes water...a little...barely...You're gonna pay!

Thought of the day:

"I have learned two lessons in my life: first, there are no sufficient literary, psychological, or historical answers to human tragedy, only moral ones. Second, just as despair can come to one another only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings." - Elie Wiesel